Now that I am experiencing my 40th Valentine’s Day, I can say with certainty that the term ‘love’ doesn’t exist in my part of the world anymore. Instead, all I seem to perceive is indifference at best and hatred at worst.

I may as well say it now: what used to be the States is now a pariah cesspit and it deserves to dissolve into civil war. And if I have to destroy myself in order to escape from the nihilistic mindlessness that is now commonplace, I’d do so if only so I can ask the Divine Energy why it allowed our species to exist, knowing how much it has become a hideous mistake, let alone myself.

This was my lunch for today. If by some chance Mexican foods winds up being banned in my part of the world, at least I got a tasty farewell with Jamaican-style vegetable quesadillas with spiced steamed cabbage and tortilla chips.

It’s weird that it’s about 25 F outside today, yet my apartment has gotten so hot that I feel the need to open the windows.

I know that this won’t be a popular opinion, but there is nothing to be ‘happy’ about New Year’s Day 2025. All I can see is destruction and misery in the future, and a hopelessness that there is nothing really to live for in the years - if not decades - to come, especially in my case.

Just figured I would showcase the Chocolate Mint Bundt Cake my mother and I baked and frosted for the Christmas Day feast dessert.

Regardless of what Winter Holiday one celebrates (if any), please take a moment to remember the despised and the lonely among us, and those who feel threatened by the outside world, knowing the maelstrom that is almost certainly going to **** up in the months to come. Indeed, it may be the last winter holiday period that the world at large may experience with some level of peace.

Especially knowing how I have no real social life in the Iowa City area and that my very existence seems to be an insult, I could use an escape from the situation facing me, but I know I will never get it.

With what happened earlier today in the New York City area, I now have proof that political pogroms and civil war in what used to be the States is inevitable.

It’s officially the first day of December. And is likely to be the last decent month in human history before everything implodes in every way imaginable.

Well, today is Thanksgiving. Or Sucksgiving in my case, knowing the overall situation and my circumstances. Included not having a date join me and my parents for the feast and the unnerving feeling that civil war is on its way.