Okay, here's a slightly funnier, cleaner version of your intro, playing up some of the details:
"Greetings, internet! I'm a 5'11" (yes, I checked twice) Hispanic Puerto Rican gentleman, born and bred in the good ol' USA.  I'm the original big brother – oldest of six, so I've seen it all, from diaper blowouts to sibling rivalry cage matches.  My birthday's July 24th, which means I'm a Leo with enough Big Cat Energy to power a small city.  (Don't worry, I mostly use it for good, like perfecting my wrestling finishing moves...in my head.)
My hobbies are your classic Renaissance Man stuff: comic books (because who doesn't love a good superhero?), podcasts (because I need something to listen to while I'm not saving the world), and professional wrestling (strictly for research purposes, of course).  And yes, I admit it, I'm a bit of a jokester. I live to laugh, and I'm always armed with a pun or a silly story. I'm a virtual assistant by day, envelope-stuffing ninja by...well, also by day.  Hey, gotta pay the bills, right?
I'm on the hunt for female friends – emphasis on friends.  And maybe your girlfriend. (Just kidding...mostly.) I reside in Middlesex County, New Jersey, so if you're in the area and you appreciate a good laugh, hit me up!  Bonus points if you can explain the plot of any comic book published after 1995.  Double bonus points if you can teach me a new wrestling move...strictly for research, I swear!"