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you dont value what you have till you loose them. im a victim of this situation, i sometimes ask myself why i could not retrain myself from reacting. in the end everything fell on me and i have been carrying this burden for a long time and i can not tell when it will end. The whole thing is like a compressor compressing my heart with a piercing arrowing forging its way gently into it. sorrow torments me, sadness continue to pelt on my windows of emotions forcing me to fall deeply into bottomless valley, going deeper and deeper without an end.
sleeping but thinking, smiling but grieving in my heart, silent but worrying, sometimes laughing but worried, walking but standing, This has been my situation for some years now although i try to deceive myself into thinking everything is okay but the truth of the whole matter is that things are not okay.
If only i could turn back the hands of time, things would have been different. I would have been happy by this time, i have really learnt a lesson that quick reaction must be gently guided with deep thoughts.