Maybe I lied when I said I'm alright. Maybe I couldn't really admit to myself that I am not okay all along. I may look so strong and brave from the outside, but deep inside I still feel so hurt and lonely. The truth is, I never really know how to be okay. There are times where I feel like the pain in my chest is aching terribly. Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing myself and I never really know how to start loving myself again. I just hate that I feel this way and I hate myself a lot for being me.

There are some moments where I fall into pieces when I realize how unhappy I am. I know for sure that this is not the life that I ever wanted. But it makes me sad how I end up feeling so down by just simply existing. Sometimes, the worst feeling is when you badly want to be okay but the world doesn't let you have your happiness and peace of mind. You see, all I ever want is to be okay— but I always end up forcing myself to smile even with tears in my eyes. I end up mourning at night with a heavy heart.

The truth is, I am scared.

I always show to people that I can handle it all by myself, I am independent, I don't need anyone, that I enjoy being alone, but the truth is, I still want someone who will tap my head when I did a great job. I still need someone who is willing to help me when I get tired walking to the path of where I wanted to be.

I am an independent person but at some point in my life I still dream of someone who will stay with me when life gets worst. I want someone who is willing to sip with me on my cup of problems. I wish that someday I have someone whom I can share my victory.

The truth is, I am scared. I am not afraid to take a risk but I need to be honest to myself, I still want someone to be here with me.

Some people are not good at expressing what they feel, so they tend to bottle up their feelings, no matter how heavy they are. They become so used to hiding their feelings that everybody thinks they are too strong and can handle everything well. But even the strongest people can get vulnerable when they can no longer bear everything that they are going through. So I hope you know that sometimes even the strongest people also need support. I want you to understand that even the ones who show up strong and composed also deserve appreciation and comfort. Those people who were always there for others also deserve to be checked to see if they're okay. Even those people who always choose silence over drama also deserve a warm hug. Even those who are always there to listen to your story deserve to be heard. We don't really know why some people choose to hide what they feel instead of sharing it bravely with others. We will never understand someone's feelings unless we find ourselves in the same situation. Not everyone is brave enough to admit that they are sad or hurting, but I hope each of us will be sensitive enough to make everyone feel seen and heard.

Good afternoon!

You are not always strong every day, and that's okay. I know sometimes you feel so exhausted with your life and you just can't find a courage to fight for your silent battles. I know sometimes you think that life is being unfair to you and you just want to stop living. And I know sometimes you feel so weak that you don't even want to wake-up every morning. I want you to know that it's okay. You don't have to force yourself to be strong when you're already falling apart. It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes. You don't have to make yourself believe that you're okay even when the truth is, you're far from being okay.

You are not always strong every day, and that's okay. Sometimes you just have to breathe and rest. Take a pause for awhile and be vulnerable. It's okay. Even the strongest person cries when he's tired. I want you to know that you don't have to hide all your fears and sadness just to look strong in front of everyone. It's okay not to be strong. It's okay to admit to yourself that you can't take it anymore. And someday, I hope you'll realize that whether you are strong or not, you are still worthy.

I hope you find someone who will understand your past traumas and give you constant reassurance that you're now trusting the right person. I hope you find someone who understand that you are not perfect but will never make you feel not enough. I hope you find a kind-hearted person. Someone who will speak kind words to you and will always respect you no matter what the situation is. I hope you find someone who knows exactly how to treat you right. Someone who will love you genuinely and will care for you like he's afraid to lose you.

I hope you find someone who can love you selflessly because not every one can love that way. Not every one is willing to sacrifice everything he has just to see you happy and not every one is willing to love you with everything he has. I hope you find a love that allows you to be happy and to be at peace because you deserve it after how many times of settling for less than what you deserve. And most importantly, I hope you find someone who will never give up on you and will never treat you poorly.

You start dying slowly ;

if you do not travel,
if you do not read,
If you do not listen to the sounds of life,
If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly :
When you kill your self-esteem,
When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly ;
If you become a slave of your habits,
Walking everyday on the same paths…
If you do not change your routine,
If you do not wear different colours
Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly :
If you avoid to feel passion
And their turbulent emotions;
Those which make your eyes glisten
And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly :
If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain
If you do not go after a dream
If you do not allow yourself
At least once in your lifetime
To run away from sensible advice

Don't let yourself die slowly
Do not forget to be happy!

You came into my life and made me feel like I was the most precious person you've ever had. I appreciate how you always value me, and that really gives me a heartwarming feeling whenever I think about it. I am just so happy and lucky to have you. I saw and heard a lot of people dealing with different heartbreaks that they received from the people they love, while there you are, treating me with kindness and loving me the best way you can. You don't want to be like those people who hurt me before. You don't want to give me the same heartbreaks that I've experienced in the past, and you don't want to be like those who do not fear hurting someone. In a world full of cheaters, toxic, disrespectful, and unkind lovers, you remained gentle and faithful to me. You always make sure to treat me properly and love me with everything you have. You are not a perfect lover. Sometimes, you still hurt me and make me sad unintentionally. But I can see that you're still trying. No matter how imperfect you are, I can always see that you are trying to make me the happiest person when I'm with you, and that's more than enough for me.

I want you to know that I will also try my best to give you the love that you deserve. I never want to hurt someone like you, and I never want to lose you. And that is why, just like you, I will also keep trying for you. Of all the people I met, you have the most beautiful soul, and that really made me the luckiest. Meeting you is wonderful, but being loved by you is a different kind of blessing to me. I will forever treasure you and all the moments that we share together. My love, I love and trust you more than you'll ever realize, so I hope you know that it will hurt me a lot if you ever break my heart too. No matter what happens, I hope you will never change, and I hope that we will always choose each other.

DID WE MAKE IT?
I wish I had the affirmative answer to that—
but unfortunately, we didn’t.

Did I regret meeting you?
No. I would never regret an experience that once made me who I am today.

I always believe that we meet people at a time when we need them the most.

And I guess the universe knew. It knows just what I need—a light to cross my path, so it ignites the fire in me that once long died.

Before you came, I didn’t know I still had that fire to love again. I’ve been burned many times; I trusted my heart again and again, but I still see pieces of me bleeding for the wrong ones.

So, how were you different from the previous ones? The answer is so clear to me. YOU MADE ME BRAVE.

You made me experience the most selfless love so I could confront my own shortcomings.

You made me let go of my fear and doubt because you made me see how certain love can be.

You made me realize that I may have burned many times, bleed my heart to death—and that is just okay because the beauty of the broken pieces is—it can still love the same way—and even more deeply.

And maybe that’s the same reason why you need to go—because somewhere across the same sky, a dim star needs your light.

HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION

Have you ever hoped to love someone and marry them, only for them to reject and maybe even choose someone else besides you.

So how do you deal with rejection?

1. Know your worth. Your worth is not determined by one human being or a few human beings but by God your Creator

2. Know that it is better to be with someone who hundred percent wants to be with you than someone who has to be forced to stay in your life

3. Know that not everyone in this life will celebrate you, see your worth, identify with your purpose or understand you

4. Analyze if you play a role in people rejecting you: Are you immature, desperate, mean, pushy, difficult, self centered or insulting?

5. Know that there is someone who longs to accept you and love you and one day you two will meet

6. Rejection shouldn't lead you to having a low self esteem. Say OK and carry on with life

7. Do not let rejection lead to anger or hate

8. Know that rejection can be a blessing in disguise when the person you have grown fond of is wrong for you

9. Know that many great people were rejected: Joseph, David, Paul were rejected and did great things; even Jesus

10. Know that the world doesn't end because one person didn't choose you

11. Know that you can only commit to one person for marriage, rejection keeps you available for the right person who is soon coming

🙏